Love or Obsession?

Everyday I’m scared,

I might lose you,

you might disappear

leaving me in despair

Am I holding you,

when all you want is to break-free?

Am I being selfish?

Or I’m just paranoid?

Obsessed?…

I love you

And.

The idea of losing you,

it kills me

I’d rather die;

Than to see you

in the arms of other woman

I love you 

I hope you love me like the way I wanna be loved.

It might be impossible,

but I will never stop hoping

but will try not to expect

for expecting,

is another form of torture

Oh boy, 

Is this obsession?

I hated the day I met you, but I can’t stop myself from falling all over again

I hated when you smile then later frown, I hated it when you make me feel special afterwards left me hanging, I hated when you stay at my side then later on move yourself away, I hated how your simple smile and gestures made me giggle,I hated when you are telling me you missed me but you’re not letting me feel it, I hate it when you’re sweet then later on become serious, I hate it when you smile at me because it makes me admire you even more, I hated when we are having our own conversation and your phone will beep then you will get distracted

I hated the moment you stop telling me you love me and the fact that I am longing to hear that 3-word phrase again, I hated it when your attention is not fully mine, I hated that I am falling for you and that I never knew what you felt about me, And what I hate the most is the fact that I am loving you without even knowing if you can love me too.

He used to love you, Oh!

I saw this poem while I was on board train a while ago. Original version in Tagalog but I will be doing my own English translation. Will share this because it caught my attention, hope you guys will like it too 🙂

The moment that I lost you, We both lose something

I, because you are the one I loved the most

And you, because I was the one who loved you the most

But between the two of us, you are the one who had a greater lost

Because I can still love someone like the way I loved you

but you can not anymore find someone to love you the way I did.

-Ernesto Cardenal (1925)

Original Version:

Nang mawala ka sakin, ikaw at ako’y nawalan

Ako dahil ikaw ang minahal ko ng lubusan

at ikaw dahil ako ang lubusan sayong nagmahal

Ngunit sa dalawa, ikaw ang higit na nawalan

Dahil pwede kong mahalin ang iba tulad ng pagmamahal ko sayo

Ngunit ika’y di mamahalin tulad nang kung paano kita minahal.

Oh, very cheesy

She’s not a princess

Have you ever felt that urge of wanting to see someone so badly,  to the point of imagining multiple scenarios that the both of you might be sharing? The feeling of excitement for someone’s affection; hugs, kisses. Yesterday I felt that, until today

A woman walked inside the mall and was planning to go home, she looked back and saw nothing but she had this little paranoia that someone was at her back and following her. She looked back again and still saw nothing.

A voice from afar murmured, she knows that voice, she’s completely sure she knows that voice. She heard of them before, that voice was typical but fascinating, the voice she long waited for. Time for her to turn around again but with disappointment she did not even see even a lone figure of what she expected. There was nothing but silence and darkness. It’s already the mall’s closing hours, the lights were already off even the elevator’s and escalators.

While nearing the exit door, someone hold her back, then down… that someone circled his arms around her waist. She smell of the same fragrance, felt the same grip and without any uncertainty, she turned around and hug him tightly. Tears started to fall from her eyes, tears of joy she whispered.

“surprise,” the guy told her.

She was happy again.

And that was a small portion of my weird imagination as I was about to go home last night after working out. My boyfriend’s home today after a 1-month Thailand vacation and I felt this longing, the unusual excitement to see him, kiss him, hug him tight and made him feel that he means a lot to me.

Sometimes, we will know someone’s worth when we started to feel how our life will be like without them, and that’s exactly what I realized.Gone are the days that I took you for granted, enough of the pain I brought you. ❤